A sad, sad day
Filed in Boredom | 7 November, 2005
Ok .. long time since I posted .. here’s the short and skinny of it:
I applied to a job with an agency that is affiliated with the agency where I currently work. As a professional courtesy, I let my director know of my interest in the job. She was very receptive and almost happy for me. She gave me a very good recommendation, and even worked a deal to get me better benefits at the new job. Unfortunately, the job didn’t pan out. It seemed they didn’t have as much flexibility with the pay as I was led to believe, and it turned out to be $500/month short. So it was decided on Friday that there was no way that we could work it out. Today, our boss laid the hammer down on ALL of us. It seems that we will be moving or getting roommates. Then, she asked my supervisor if I was necessary, if he wanted to get rid of me, or even if he wanted to move me into another section of IT (a non-development section). He played it well, as he is trying to smooth the whole scenario over as quickly as possible. But, as I’m sure mike knows, this is the first sign of the end. Now, the race is on for me to find a suitable job, for I fear that I will be let go anyday now. Needless to say, I was pissed off, and guilty as hell. Not only does it look like I’m going to be shafted, but I’ve brought all kinds of hell upon my co-workers and friends. Today, I sat in silence, all day. I couldn’t bring myself to say a word. I knew that I had messed a lot of things up for a lot of people, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Despite trying to be as professional as I possibly could have been about the whole thing, I get utterly screwed. Not saying that I handled it the best way possible, but everything I did seemed right at the time. I don’t know if I was blinded by the promise of something better, or if I just blacked out, but I had to have missed something very obvious. The elephant in the room, if you will.
I wish I could undo the last 3 weeks. I really hope it works out without having to sell my house, my cars, my cats, and my soul (what’s left of it at least) to survive.
So, now we’re all under the microscope, but, I wonder what will happen when our director finds out that my boss is leaving soon .. if I make it that long.
I really can’t wait to get the hell out of that place. I now hate it more then I have ever hated another job before, and that says a lot. DAMN YOU RESPONSIBILITIES!!
